WOMEN AS OBJECTS

The cultural changes of the last 200 years have been impressive. Specifically, slavery has been abolished in our Western culture, and women have been given the right to vote. Yet, in some parts of the world neither has happened. It is as if human rights has a tentative hold, like a kitten on a screen door. At any moment the kitten could drop, and we could find our world reverting back to the way it was. It is a scary thought, and even more scary when you realize that millions of people want that to happen.

The idea of women as objects also remains strong. In the West, we see it primarily in pornography, but there are strands of it trailing through other parts of our culture. I'm not sure of the cause, but I suspect that it has to do with the issue of power. Men are physically stronger, and traditionally have the role of protector and provider. When that power is perverted, it corrupts the relationship between men and women.

I think the problem arises when men use their strength for selfish fulfillment. A man gets married and has children, but he never quite makes a complete transition into the protector/provider mentality. Deep in his psyche, the wife is his "property." She exists to make him happy. That attitude can be passed down from generation to generation.

I often wonder what the world would be like if all the men woke up on Monday morning and found that they were as physically strong as ever, but that all the women in the world were twice as strong as the men. Would "yes dear" take on a whole new meaning?

What about other cultures? In Islam, religion cooperates with the men to keep women as second class citizens. We seem to have made more progress in the West. Our Judeo-Christian roots are patriarchal, yet both Jewish and Christian history have accounts of women accomplishing great things. The roots of anti-slavery are grounded in the Christian principles of men and women like William Wilberforce and Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Perhaps the real problem is the issue of dehumanization. Looking down on others who look or think differently from us seems to be part of our human experience. It happens between nations, of course, but if you look closely you can follow that same mentality down to tribes, clans, and even individual families who see themselves as superior to those around them. It's not surprising that a man can carry this outlook into his relationship with women.

How does one not fall victim to the temptation of dehumanizing others?

HAPPINESS AND DESPAIR

The April issue of Money Magazine reports that money doesn’t make you happy. Once a person rises above the poverty level, money is not the answer. They report that any attempt to be happy by surrounding yourself with things is only temporary. They suggest writing in a notebook at the close of each day those activities that you have pleasant memories about. After only a few days, you will see a pattern emerging. You will have a detailed list of activities that make you feel good. With that list, you can plan your day more carefully, and be sure to not overlook those times as they come along.

That makes sense to me. I always knew it, but it is refreshing to see a publication take a stand against materialism, especially since their whole focus is on building wealth. However, there is a difference. Materialism meets a need for instant gratification. Building wealth which will be passed on to your grandchildren is deferred. Besides, your grandchildren will be glad you did.

Happiness can be elusive. I think the greatest temptation is to always be anticipating the next event. We are waiting for the weekend; a new job; a marriage; an inheritance; Summer; the list is endless. What are you waiting for? Are you happy now, or is it always just out of reach?

Another thing I have noticed is that happiness is either there or it isn’t. Some people walk around with a spirit of sadness, anger, or hopelessness. Others, in the exact circumstance, have a spirit of joy. We know the importance of brain chemistry. Perhaps their brains are different.

Christians have a future hope. Sometimes they have been accused of ignoring the needs of this world because of their anticipation of the next. Jesus, however, focused on the needs around him.

What about other belief systems? Do they have hope? If not, how do they avoid despair? A hedonist lives for pleasure. Does that mean that when the pleasure stops, the happiness stops? “Ok, I’m 80 years old now. I can’t drive my sports car, my wife is dead, and all my friends have passed away. It’s time to commit suicide.” A humanist lives to better the human condition. Is there happiness in that? What if the humanistic projects you are investing your time and talent in collapse? Eastern philosophies seek the god within. Islam hopes for the day when the entire world will be united under their faith. (Somehow, I think if that really happened they would still fight each other.)

What gives you hope? When you drift off to sleep at night, are you filled with despair, or with hope? Do you have fear, or peace?

INFIDEL

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Never underestimate the power of Nancy Drew. Ayaan Hirsi Ali read not only Nancy Drew mysteries as a child, but also English classics from the 19th century. They planted a seed of freedom that later gave her the inner strength to break away from an Islamic upbringing. This book is the story of that journey to inner freedom, which resulted in her fleeing to Europe and settling in Holland.

This book is captivating, because it is a window into the Islamic pattern of thinking. It causes me to ask questions. How would I as a man react if I were raised in that environment? Would I view women as second class citizens? In the Islamic culture men have all the power. Being part of the power base, would I be content in my power, or would I have compassion for the weak?

Are there any parallel situations in my culture? Are there any citizens that have no power? Women seem to be making progress in the work force today, although we read about the “glass ceiling” that they bump against in the business world. Racism seems to be on the wane, although there is still plenty of it around. Abortion is probably the most obvious example, since there is nothing more helpless than an unborn child.

Are there any patterns of thinking in Western culture that prevent me from clearly discerning the truth? Islamic culture certainly has preconceived ideas about life that causes them to make what we consider erroneous decisions. They are apparent throughout this book. What are my preconceived ideas, and what actions do they lead to?

Have you ever had your eyes suddenly opened to an error in your priorities or lifestyle? Did you change, or would the cost have been too great? For Ayaan Hirsi Ali, it was worth leaving her family and her culture. Would you do the same?