Who do you enjoy being with? What makes them fun to be around? You probably share a common passion, and enjoy their sense of humor. It is also very likely that they listen to what you say. I think being a good listener is key to having meaningful relationships.
What about people you don't enjoy? Why do you avoid them when you see them coming? What character traits do they have that raise your blood pressure? Do they listen to what you say? I think not.
Proverbs 18:24 in the Bible says that if you want to have friends, show yourself friendly. I think we can rephrase that to say if you want to have friends, be a good listener. No one likes a person who is self focused and all they do is talk about their own interests and pains. It becomes a vicious cycle, causing others to avoid them even more.
Are you a good listener? I like to imagine that there is a secret recording of all my conversations, and I get points when I can direct the conversation away from myself. What about blogging? Isn't blogging the essence of being self focused? Maybe that is why it is so popular.
What are the keys to being a good listener?
5 comments:
Listening is hard because no one is near as interesting as I am(joking).
I enjoy my girlfriends company a lot. She likes to hear what I have to say about things as do I with her. Obviously if we didn't enjoy listening to each other then what is the point? Thats a big part of any relationship.
Bringing this back to God. God, wants us to listen to him as well he wants to listen to us. He asks us to tell him our needs, wants and fears. But like any relationship how often do we listen to him more than talk?
Like you said with the Proverb. I try to be conscious of how much I am controlling a conversation. I like the sound of my voice but I don't think everyone does!
Interesting insight into who you are Rod. "I get points when I can direct the conversation away from myself" this explains why I feel it has taken so long to get to know you. If everyone did this, our conversations would be very bland. haha! You are a very good listener though.
Hi Jen,
thanks for the compliment. I'll try to become easier to get to know in the future.
Micah, you are not the only one, we all enjoy hearing ourselves talk.
For a shy person out on a date, stopping to listen has the double benefit of giving yourself a breather while making your date feel like the center of attention.
Good point. Even better if that person is so shy that they can't even talk coherently. All they have to think of is a few leading questions.
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