RELATIONSHIPS

My friend Gary commented to me some time ago that the importance of relationships is becoming more apparent to him as he grows older. As time goes by, I am increasingly seeing the truth in his remark. In fact, it occurred to me that every movie produced; every book published; every story told, is a story of relationships. Even stories of men exiled alone on an island are actually about their attempt to reconcile back into civilization. In addition, every good story includes themes of betrayal, reconciliation, and redemption. Tell me your favorite movie, and you can be sure it contains intense relationship issues. In fact, I challenge you to think of an idea for a story that does not involve relationships. Critics analyze movies and books based on how characters and relationships are developed.

I have several questions: Who is your most important relationship with? Is it meaningful? What percentage are you giving/getting? Is it a relationship worth maintaining? Are there open lines of communication? What commitment have you made to it? Do your actions reflect your commitment? Are there positive or negative expectations of behavior imposed on you by being in this relationship? Did you make a mistake? Is it time to set some limits?

My most treasured relationship is with Lin. We have invested 33 years in it, and are reaping the benefits. I also deeply value my spiritual relationship with God. His grace is free and he has forgiven my sins. We have a rewarding relationship with our adult children & their spouses. It would be great if we could all live in one house and have a continual party! (They might not agree.) Life isn't like that, unfortunately. It only happens on holidays when they all happen to be here at the same time.

We have a good rapport at our job. It is fun to be with those I work with. It would be terrible to get up in the morning and have to go to a job and face someone I didn't really get along with. We have a blast with our LeTip friends. (Most of them are the same age as our kids, so we can freely give unsolicited advice and ask somewhat probing questions.) At church we have some of the most long lasting and closest friends. The adult ESL class we teach is a delight. The Latino students are generous and kind.

There is one thing that bothers me, however. If I am in a public place and see sadness in someones eyes, I want to break down the stranger barrier and touch their hurt. It's hard to get past that wall. I find myself wondering what circumstances they are facing and what past choices they made to arrive in their current situation. Most likely the seeds of our relationships today were planted years ago. What seeds are you planting today for your relationships tomorrow?