Honor and Shame
By Roland Muller
Have you ever been mystified by stories from strange cultures? With our recent exposure to Islam since 2001, it seems that the United States has been on a fast track to attempt to understand the Middle Eastern mindset.
This book puts it in perspective. The author explains that all cultures look at life from some combination of three paradigms. They are: 1. honor and shame; 2. fear and power; and 3. innocence and guilt. He refers to them correspondingly, as shame-based, fear-based, and guilt-based.
Western Civilization is predominately a guilt-based culture. Our roots in Roman law helped us develop a democracy known as the republic. Much of our legal system today is based on the Roman code of law. The rule of law was supreme, and individual rights were granted by the government. Even the emperor had to obey the law. The emphasis is on telling the truth and obeying the law.
Fear-based cultures tend to be in Africa and South America. We’ve all seen Hollywood movies with the witch doctor doing a rain dance. The witch doctor or priest controlled the village with fear. These cultures are sometimes called animistic, because everything has a spiritual meaning. Rules, procedures, and rituals are established to appease the spirits. Throw a virgin in the volcano once a year and the gods will be appeased.
Shame-based cultures are predominately in the Middle East, although there is evidence of it throughout the world. Every part of Muslim culture is based on honor and shame, including which chair you sit in, who enters a doorway first, and even the way you walk and represent yourself. The emphasis is on the honor of the tribe or family much more than the honor of the individual. Individual actions are controlled by the expectations of the group, and no one wants to bring shame upon the group. A girl is raped, and her family kills her. The family had been shamed, and killing her restores the family honor.
There are some interesting implications when cultures collide. First of all, there will be misunderstandings. Tourists from the United States have a worldwide reputation for being loud, demanding, and rude. Is it because we suddenly act differently when we go on a trip? No, I think it is because we are loud, demanding, and rude with each other. We value truth more than preserving the honor of the other person.
The author mentions an experience in a public swimming pool. The lifeguard blew the whistle, and the Westerners stopped to see who was guilty. The Arab children kept swimming. When we run a red light, we feel guilty. The Muslim doesn’t necessarily feel any guilt. Did you ever wonder why other countries drive so crazy on the road? They don’t have the same roots of obeying the law in their culture.
In discussing this with a Chinese graduate student at PSU, he agreed that honor is much more important in China than in the U.S. When he calls his mother, he tells her everything is fine, even though it really isn’t. It is much more important to preserve the honor of the family than to tell the truth and possibly bring shame to his parents.
In reporting on the war with Iraq several years ago, Newsweek magazine told of successful tactics being used by American soldiers. They would put speakers on the front of a vehicle and broadcast insults. The enemy soldiers would respond by jumping out of their hiding places and attacking the better armed Americans. The article had the tone of disbelief. In reality, this is only understood in the context of a shame-based culture. Defending the honor of their mother was worth possible death in battle.
Cultures change, and our own history has the account of the dual between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. It resulted in Congress outlawing dueling as a means to settle disputes. Today it sounds silly, but 200 years ago it was a big deal.
In the Bible, Adam and Eve experienced shame, fear, and guilt. Jesus lived in a shame-based culture, and the Bible actually speaks more about freedom from shame and fear than freedom from guilt. If you talk to a Muslim about personal guilt, they may have trouble understanding the concept.
When interacting with other cultures, I need to be aware of the “window” they are looking through. As a Westerner, I also need to know that guilt is not the only motivation to do the right thing. Shame and fear may play a much bigger role in the lives of others than I expect.
By Roland Muller
Have you ever been mystified by stories from strange cultures? With our recent exposure to Islam since 2001, it seems that the United States has been on a fast track to attempt to understand the Middle Eastern mindset.
This book puts it in perspective. The author explains that all cultures look at life from some combination of three paradigms. They are: 1. honor and shame; 2. fear and power; and 3. innocence and guilt. He refers to them correspondingly, as shame-based, fear-based, and guilt-based.
Western Civilization is predominately a guilt-based culture. Our roots in Roman law helped us develop a democracy known as the republic. Much of our legal system today is based on the Roman code of law. The rule of law was supreme, and individual rights were granted by the government. Even the emperor had to obey the law. The emphasis is on telling the truth and obeying the law.
Fear-based cultures tend to be in Africa and South America. We’ve all seen Hollywood movies with the witch doctor doing a rain dance. The witch doctor or priest controlled the village with fear. These cultures are sometimes called animistic, because everything has a spiritual meaning. Rules, procedures, and rituals are established to appease the spirits. Throw a virgin in the volcano once a year and the gods will be appeased.
Shame-based cultures are predominately in the Middle East, although there is evidence of it throughout the world. Every part of Muslim culture is based on honor and shame, including which chair you sit in, who enters a doorway first, and even the way you walk and represent yourself. The emphasis is on the honor of the tribe or family much more than the honor of the individual. Individual actions are controlled by the expectations of the group, and no one wants to bring shame upon the group. A girl is raped, and her family kills her. The family had been shamed, and killing her restores the family honor.
There are some interesting implications when cultures collide. First of all, there will be misunderstandings. Tourists from the United States have a worldwide reputation for being loud, demanding, and rude. Is it because we suddenly act differently when we go on a trip? No, I think it is because we are loud, demanding, and rude with each other. We value truth more than preserving the honor of the other person.
The author mentions an experience in a public swimming pool. The lifeguard blew the whistle, and the Westerners stopped to see who was guilty. The Arab children kept swimming. When we run a red light, we feel guilty. The Muslim doesn’t necessarily feel any guilt. Did you ever wonder why other countries drive so crazy on the road? They don’t have the same roots of obeying the law in their culture.
In discussing this with a Chinese graduate student at PSU, he agreed that honor is much more important in China than in the U.S. When he calls his mother, he tells her everything is fine, even though it really isn’t. It is much more important to preserve the honor of the family than to tell the truth and possibly bring shame to his parents.
In reporting on the war with Iraq several years ago, Newsweek magazine told of successful tactics being used by American soldiers. They would put speakers on the front of a vehicle and broadcast insults. The enemy soldiers would respond by jumping out of their hiding places and attacking the better armed Americans. The article had the tone of disbelief. In reality, this is only understood in the context of a shame-based culture. Defending the honor of their mother was worth possible death in battle.
Cultures change, and our own history has the account of the dual between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. It resulted in Congress outlawing dueling as a means to settle disputes. Today it sounds silly, but 200 years ago it was a big deal.
In the Bible, Adam and Eve experienced shame, fear, and guilt. Jesus lived in a shame-based culture, and the Bible actually speaks more about freedom from shame and fear than freedom from guilt. If you talk to a Muslim about personal guilt, they may have trouble understanding the concept.
When interacting with other cultures, I need to be aware of the “window” they are looking through. As a Westerner, I also need to know that guilt is not the only motivation to do the right thing. Shame and fear may play a much bigger role in the lives of others than I expect.
4 comments:
Wow, that was an interesting blog! Thanks!
Very articulate.
The 'honour/shame' concept is a deeply unfortuante part of Islamic culture. It leads to the horrible phenomena of honour-killings, where disgraced family members are murdered.
Too many of these are occurring here in the UK.
Interesting, so if Jesus spoke out more about freedom from shame and fear than from guilt, is guilt the right motivation for our actions? Is there a right or correct view point, or just different ones?
I think each person has a different combination of guilt, shame, and fear; the specific mix is determined by our culture & family upbringing. All three can motivate us, and we need freedom from them all.
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