GAMBLING

I have a pet peeve. I see the whole gaming industry as destructive to our culture. I see a government we elected to lead, turn their backs on protecting the people, and instead milking the poor and middle class by giving them something they want. In return, the government receives tax dollars that rightly should have been used for food, medical needs, and retirement savings.

Several years ago Bill Bennett admitted a gambling problem. His defense was that he never gambled with “milk” money. It was always money he could afford to lose.

I would like to tell Mr. Bennett, “Even if you win just once, thousands of others lose, and they are losing ‘milk’ money. You are taking advantage of the people you pledged to serve when you were the Secretary of Education.”

We read heartbreaking stories on a regular basis of those who have been caught in the clutches of a gambling addiction. The gambling road is a wide path of tantalizing destruction.

Bill Bennett was saying, “I can handle it.” I would like to hear him tell that to the addict who has lost their savings, their credit, their home, and sometimes even their family.

Where does my responsibility to my community begin and end? “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The Biblical answer is yes!

DEEP THOUGHTS

Distance is an interesting concept. We “go the distance.” We have a distant look in our eye. We gaze upon a distant star. I wonder if any astronomers have named their baby Distance. Perhaps they would be more likely to name their children after one of the more popular stars, such as Polaris, or Alpha Centari. They would be called Pol and Alfie.

We look at a map and find the distance between two cities. We do our homework and plot the distance between two points of the xy-plane. If something is attainable, we say it is within striking distance. The distance between two points on the earth can change, depending on if you stay on the surface, or dig your way there.

Long distance phone calls have given way to long distance education over the internet. The distance between the earth and the sun is one astronomical unit. Distance seems to be a vague concept that is defined by more precise words, such as inches or miles.

The distance light travels in the time it takes the earth to go once around the sun is called a light-year. In one second that is 186,282 miles. I think I’ll just stay home if I have to take my car.

If you measure the length of your living room, you would probably say 16 ft, 5 inches. However, if I tell you to measure it halfway and only measure ½ the remaining distance each time you measure, you would get old and die before reaching the wall. Try it sometime. I’ll come to your funeral, but don’t ask me to sing.

Distance can be relative. If I am an insect, California is far away. If I am a migrating bird, it’s only a few days. I picked my daughter up at the airport earlier this year. She had been in Uganda a few hours earlier. I consider that to be a great distance, but only because I think how long it would take to drive.

If there was a floating bridge to Hawaii, would you drive? How often would you have to stop and get gas? What if the engineers built the bridge, but forgot to put in any gas stations or rest areas? Would you wear a diaper and carry your own fuel and water?
Would you wear a life jacket while driving, just in case you encountered a bad storm?

These are deep thoughts.

HONOR AND SHAME

Honor and Shame
By Roland Muller

Have you ever been mystified by stories from strange cultures? With our recent exposure to Islam since 2001, it seems that the United States has been on a fast track to attempt to understand the Middle Eastern mindset.

This book puts it in perspective. The author explains that all cultures look at life from some combination of three paradigms. They are: 1. honor and shame; 2. fear and power; and 3. innocence and guilt. He refers to them correspondingly, as shame-based, fear-based, and guilt-based.

Western Civilization is predominately a guilt-based culture. Our roots in Roman law helped us develop a democracy known as the republic. Much of our legal system today is based on the Roman code of law. The rule of law was supreme, and individual rights were granted by the government. Even the emperor had to obey the law. The emphasis is on telling the truth and obeying the law.

Fear-based cultures tend to be in Africa and South America. We’ve all seen Hollywood movies with the witch doctor doing a rain dance. The witch doctor or priest controlled the village with fear. These cultures are sometimes called animistic, because everything has a spiritual meaning. Rules, procedures, and rituals are established to appease the spirits. Throw a virgin in the volcano once a year and the gods will be appeased.

Shame-based cultures are predominately in the Middle East, although there is evidence of it throughout the world. Every part of Muslim culture is based on honor and shame, including which chair you sit in, who enters a doorway first, and even the way you walk and represent yourself. The emphasis is on the honor of the tribe or family much more than the honor of the individual. Individual actions are controlled by the expectations of the group, and no one wants to bring shame upon the group. A girl is raped, and her family kills her. The family had been shamed, and killing her restores the family honor.

There are some interesting implications when cultures collide. First of all, there will be misunderstandings. Tourists from the United States have a worldwide reputation for being loud, demanding, and rude. Is it because we suddenly act differently when we go on a trip? No, I think it is because we are loud, demanding, and rude with each other. We value truth more than preserving the honor of the other person.

The author mentions an experience in a public swimming pool. The lifeguard blew the whistle, and the Westerners stopped to see who was guilty. The Arab children kept swimming. When we run a red light, we feel guilty. The Muslim doesn’t necessarily feel any guilt. Did you ever wonder why other countries drive so crazy on the road? They don’t have the same roots of obeying the law in their culture.

In discussing this with a Chinese graduate student at PSU, he agreed that honor is much more important in China than in the U.S. When he calls his mother, he tells her everything is fine, even though it really isn’t. It is much more important to preserve the honor of the family than to tell the truth and possibly bring shame to his parents.

In reporting on the war with Iraq several years ago, Newsweek magazine told of successful tactics being used by American soldiers. They would put speakers on the front of a vehicle and broadcast insults. The enemy soldiers would respond by jumping out of their hiding places and attacking the better armed Americans. The article had the tone of disbelief. In reality, this is only understood in the context of a shame-based culture. Defending the honor of their mother was worth possible death in battle.

Cultures change, and our own history has the account of the dual between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr. It resulted in Congress outlawing dueling as a means to settle disputes. Today it sounds silly, but 200 years ago it was a big deal.

In the Bible, Adam and Eve experienced shame, fear, and guilt. Jesus lived in a shame-based culture, and the Bible actually speaks more about freedom from shame and fear than freedom from guilt. If you talk to a Muslim about personal guilt, they may have trouble understanding the concept.

When interacting with other cultures, I need to be aware of the “window” they are looking through. As a Westerner, I also need to know that guilt is not the only motivation to do the right thing. Shame and fear may play a much bigger role in the lives of others than I expect.

HUMOR

What is there about humor that is so funny? What makes us laugh? Is it the unexpected twist at the end of a joke? A good science fiction story always has an unexpected outcome, and I don’t laugh when I read science fiction. Is there something we like about being broadsided? If I’m walking down a dark alley, I don’t want to be hit alongside the head with a two-by-four. And yet, I do enjoy the end of a good joke or story, especially if the twist is unexpected.

At what point does it translate to real life? What if my life took a twist? What would happen if I woke up some morning in Calcutta to find that I am a cigar merchant, married to a Russian who doesn’t speak English, and the last thirty years were only a wonderful dream?

Wait, I’m confused. I thought I lived in Oregon. What am I doing here in Calcutta? Are these my children? Why is my wife’s name Olga? Why are these cigars in my briefcase? Oh, I remember, I sell these things from my sidewalk kiosk.

It would be a twist, but certainly not enjoyable. I definitely would not laugh. Of course, if I did live in India I would not speak English, so in that respect it might be ok.

There is something in the human psyche that thrives on the unexpected. Some of us like it more than others. I tend to not like it. I enjoy each day the same; wearing decent clothes to the office; getting coffee on the way; sitting at the same desk, and so on. I like the predictability.

However, Lin is not that way. She likes change, and thrives on the unusual, as long as it is not disaster related. She would be thrilled to have an unexpected trip forced on her schedule.

Me: “I’m sorry honey, but instead of going to work today, I’m taking you on a road trip to Tibet where we can learn how to milk yaks.
Lin: “I’m so happy that you took the initiative to think of something different and out of the ordinary. What other adventures can we experience on this joyous day?”

However, let’s get back to the “twist,” that broadside at the end of a joke that triggers belly laughs, or perhaps a feeling that you have been bamboozled. If you watch comedians, you soon learn that they are Masters in the art of knowing that perfect length of time to wait between the story and the punch line. They know just how to drop it on the audience for maximum impact. I think we can learn from them.

I have also noticed that it is not just the punch line. It is also the buildup. My late Uncle Howard had the ability to string out a story and have the listeners literally on the edge of their seats for what must have been ten or fifteen minutes. My most vivid memory is how stupid I felt when he finally broadsided us with the ending twist. I got so I knew when that final blow was coming, because there was a certain way he licked his lips before the punch line. I can still see those thin lips; chapped, with a tongue that caressed slowly across his mouth like a python kissing a mouse before devouring it. He made me feel like that mouse.

Did you ever notice how small children like scary stories? A scary story is like the punch line that never stops. The scarier the better and the good ones make you wet your pants and have nightmares. Heaven knows why the kids like it. We did not have that tradition when our children were small. We read good stories and played nice games. Except, of course the kid’s favorite game, where they would get on the bed with the monster (Lin) under the bed. The monster would try to grab them. I have never heard such screaming in my life. I think our adult children must still have dreams about that. That tells me that in our brains there is a fine line between being scared out of our wits and hearing a good joke. Maybe our brain gets the two mixed up sometimes, kind of like pain and pleasure. So I ask you, within the bounds of common decency, what is your greatest pain (pleasure) memory?