A VISIT TO THE DENTIST

I had a revelation today while sitting at the dentist’s office. I was staring up at the ceiling with my eyes half closed. Soft music wafted out of the speaker directly above me. The technician was gently and carefully scraping along my gum line. I could hear the soothing sound of a high speed drill coming from the next room. I was having difficulty not falling asleep. And then it came to me! Why not make a CD with soft music accompanied by the occasional whir of a dental drill? You could even throw in a well-timed moan once in a while! My mind started to spin with the marketing possibilities. I could contact psychologists and get mailing lists of patients with dentist phobias! They could listen to my CD while going to sleep at night and at the same time would be making true progress in their battle to conquer a fear that had plagued them since childhood. (Not to mention the cavities begging to be filled in thousands of phobic mouths.) Everyone knows, of course, that if you have a fear of going to the dentist, you are only scratching the surface of what is really wrong with you. Most people who fear the dentist are also constantly looking over their shoulder. After all, if the dental profession cannot be trusted, no one can. For example, what does the pharmacist do behind that counter? Did you ever wonder why they won’t let you watch? Don’t ask. Tim Conway started it all with his dental skit. That skit did for dentistry what Bambi did for hunting. Anyway, what a marketing opportunity it could be. If you agree, send me $20. I only need a thousand people to join.