Sunday, August 20, 2017

Retired? I Don't Think So!

I’ve been thinking about changing my career. I need something that will make people sit up and take notice. Currently I’m retired. That has absolutely no energy. Stranger: “What type of work do you do?” “I’m retired.” It used to have a little more energy in the title when I sold insurance. Even that, however, conjures up images in their mind of some little emasculated man sitting at a desk. Thick glasses. Bald head. Beady eyes.


  Now that I’m retired the sky’s the ...limit. How about oil derrick laborer? Images immediately pop into their mind—big muscles, gritty face, hard work. It would be easy to transition from retirement to working on an oil derrick. I simply announce it. Hopefully I would not be offered a job on an oil rig, but if that happened, I would go. After all, that is my job.


  Another great job would be a scuba diver. Not just a run of the mill scuba diver, but one that specializes in sunken treasure. There the images in your mind dance vividly—sunsets on the ocean; a tight fitting wet suit; a bearded captain steering the boat as I dive into the depths. I could easily be a scuba diver. The table conversation would be greatly entertaining. I can see them now looking at me askance with one eyebrow raised. That’s the challenge--Playing the part when you don’t look like it.


  My imagination really took off, however, after reading an article by travel writer Rick Bragg. He travels and writes for Southern Living. He thought it would be attractive to announce that he bred bulls. Now that requires no imagination. What a conversation stopper! Or better yet, starter. You wouldn’t have to say anything else. Other men would just look at you in awe. Women would demurely turn away. You wouldn’t have anything to prove. Just smile.