SCENIC BEAUTY

This is a view of Mt Shasta at sunset. It was almost too dark, but the setting sun was reflecting off the snow, and we were able to get a decent photo. We took it from I-5 traveling North.

TRADITIONS

Once a year we decorate Christmas cookies. Lin makes them ahead of time, so by the time everyone arrives all she has to do is mix up the colors of frosting. Some family members are very artistic. Gitta made a Christmas tree, complete with framed walls (toothpicks). Erin designed an angel with a mustashe and announced it was me. I have a tendency to apply the frosting with less care, and then eat it if I don't like the results. What traditions do you enjoy?

WINTER PEACEFULNESS

Household pets love winter. All they do is lay around with the fire blazing brightly. If you disturb them, they look up as if to say, "Is there a problem?" Their visits outside through the animal door become much less frequent than during warmer weather. They don't like the cold, and they definitely don't like the rain. When you put cold and rain together our cat and dog both get a sarcastic view of going outside. "You expect me to do what out there? You don't do it outside. Why should I?" Fortunately, I am bigger, and I am the boss, so if someone needs to do their business, I gently but firmly take control. I don't really know when they need to go out, but there is an internal alarm in my head that begins quietly and increases in intensity if neither animal has made a move for the door after three hours. Speaking of taking control, I feel much more an authority in my house since the last human child departed. The only other voice is Lin, and she usually agrees with me.

BAGGAGE

Sometimes carrying a backpack is a good thing. Other times it is better left behind. I had a dream about mine. Tell me what you think it means:

My friend and I were standing outside behind the house. It was dark, but the porch light was on. The light reflected partially across the backyard. The snow was about 18 inches deep, but where we were standing under the eve there was just a skiff. We were going to head for a large tree at the back of the lot. There was a trail already in the snow which began at our feet and curved around to the left. I reached behind me and took my coat and pack off the hook and said, "I'll try it first." The air was cold. The first part of the trail was well worn, and easy to navigate. As I reached the point where the trail curved back toward the tree, the path became progressively less traveled, until finally there was only one set of footprints in the deep snow. I found I could stay on the path if I placed my feet in those tracks, because the snow was almost up to my knees. It was also getting harder, and I was beginning to feel the weight of the pack. Finally I had a revelation. I quickly ran back toward the house, and when I arrived I hung my coat and pack on the wall and told my friend, "There is only one set of tracks, leave all your stuff and just go for it." Without waiting for his reply, I turned and quickly retraced my steps. This time when I got to the deep snow, it was easy to follow those same tracks, but I did it running instead of laboriously walking. As I approached the tree's canopy I felt an intense presence of God, and since I was already running, I jumped the last six feet. Instead of landing, I awoke.

PHISHING AND OTHER SCAMS

My favorite witch quote is from Hansel and Gretel, "come closer, my dearie." Her entire house was made of candy in an attempt to trap unsuspecting children.

It's not much different today, with letters arriving in my email on a regular basis appealing to my greed with offers to get rich quick. If I were a child, candy would work, but as an adult I am now more sophisticated. Sometimes they appeal to my loyalty, claiming to be a friend stranded in England. The variety of appeals is endless and entertaining. It is tragic, however, when those more naive are trapped like a baby rabbit in the jaws of a coyote.

And then there are the phishing sites, drawing the unsuspecting to reveal their personal information.

Have you been the victim of a scam? So far I have avoided it. I have taken some precautions, such as freezing my credit, and using incredibly difficult passwords. Mostly, however, I have probably been lucky. I have found my suspicion almost becoming free floating. Lin asks for my wallet. I raise one eyebrow and hand it over slowly.

How have you been affected?

LORDS OF THE EARTH

Stanley Dale was an Australian commando in WWII. Don Richardson wrote this account of Stanley's life from childhood through his adulthood. Like Endurance, it is a study of leadership and what one man with an iron will can accomplish. Is there room for more than one leader in a small space? I'd like to get Teddy Roosevelt, Stanley Dale, and Ernest Shackleton together and then stand back and see what happens. (See my previous blogs on The River of Doubt and Endurance.)

Lords of the Earth follows Stanley Dale as he encounters and ministers to cannibals in Indonesia. This is not a book for the faint of heart. However, it is fascinating to read about a stone age culture and how it is changed when it encounters christianity.

EPIPHANY

Once in a while, perhaps once in a lifetime, something occurs that begins a dramatic shift in a person's world view. It's called an epiphany. The result is a long term change in how we relate to those around us, and if it is a spiritual awakening, it changes how we relate to God.

Here are accounts of three spiritual epiphanies:

C.S. Lewis (in a car on his way to the zoo)

In September, 1931, when Lewis was thirty three years old, he had a long discussion about Christianity with J.R.R. Tolkien (who was a devout Roman Catholic) and Hugo Dyson (a friend and committed Christian). That all-night conversation planted even more "seeds" in Lewis's heart. Lewis wrote in Surprised by Joy about what happened a week later as he headed out to a local zoo with his brother Warren: "When we set out I did not believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, and when we reached the zoo I did." Apparently sometime during that ride God touched Lewis's heart, and opened his eyes to Jesus' love and compassion. Was this his Damascus story -- conversion on the way to the zoo? Or was it a culmination of all the "seeds" that had been planted throughout Lewis's life? Only God and Lewis know for certain, but after his conversion, God certainly started to bless Lewis's life, including his writing.

Whittaker Chambers (in his kitchen)

I date my break with Communism to a very casual happening… My daughter was in her high chair. I was watching her eat. She was the most miraculous thing that had ever happened in my life. I liked to watch her even when she smeared porridge on her face or dropped it meditatively on the floor. My eye came to rest on the delicate convolutions of her ear – those intricate, perfect ears. The thought passed through my mind, ‘No, those ears were not created by chance coming together of atoms in nature (the Communist view). They could have been created only by immense design.’ The thought was involuntary and unwanted. I crowded it out of my mind. But I never wholly forgot it or the occasion. I had to crowd it out of my mind. If I had completed it, I should have had to say: Design supposes God. I did not then know that, at that moment, the finger of God was first laid on my forehead.

Charles Coleson (in his car)

I had the strange sensation that water was not only running down my cheeks but surging through my whole body as well, cleansing and cooling as it went. They weren’t tears of sadness and remorse, nor of joy—but somehow tears of relief.
And then I prayed my first real prayer. “God I don’t know how to find you, but I’m going to try! I’m not much the way I am now but somehow I want to give myself over to you.” I didn’t know how to say more so I repeated over and over the words “Take me.”
I had not “accepted” Christ—I still didn’t know who He was. My mind told me it was important to find that out first, to be sure that I knew what I was doing, that I meant it and would stay with it. Only that night something inside me was urging me to surrender—to what or to whom I did not know.

I have often wondered, do people have spiritual epiphanies away from God? I don't think they are as prevalent. Have you had one, either toward or away from God?

ISAIAH DANIEL

Meet Isaiah Daniel, our second grandchild. We enjoyed holding him and reveling in being grandparents on that first day of his birth. Now we look forward to many more years of enjoyment.

MONEY MAKING OPPORTUNITIES

Today I was staring at a picture on the wall and had a money-making revelation. It was a painting of a rushing river in the wilderness. You see them in every waiting room. I think they do that because when the nurse doesn't call your name in a timely fashion they are hoping you will lose yourself in daydreams of picnics and rafting experiences. It's the same reason that waiting rooms are painted in restful colors. It is not good if your blood pressure goes up higher than it already was. It was working with me. I was lost in a daydream of rushing water, and suddenly thought of a great opportunity for the right person to capitalize on it. You only need to have access to a rushing river, or waterfall, or pasture, or some other tranquil scene that transports the observer into a trance. It could even be an ant farm! You set up a camera and run it through a secure internet site. Those who join are given a password to access the video, and they run the signal to a framed flat screen in the wall. I can just imagine that first customer sitting in an office, figeting nervously. Then they happen to notice the painting on the wall. "Wait. Is that water moving? Is this some kind of trick?" People who are waiting to have their skin tumor examined are transported into a live world of action. When the nurse finally calls them, they are not only relaxed, but they don't care that it was an extra 30 minutes. They are waiting for the next raft of revelers to come around the bend. Meanwhile, the camera is sending out a 24 hour transmission to perhaps a thousand offices and homes, charging a nominal fee, which adds up to a sizeable sum. The possibilities are endless. The contracts could be set up similar to a cell tower, except the footprint would be minimal. If you are good with webcams, why not form a company setting up cameras in remote areas? Pay them $500 a month for camera privileges and make $5,000. Don't forget to send me 1% of the gross.

CENTRAL OREGON

Fall is the best season in Central Oregon. The nights are cold. Tonight it will be 20 degrees Fahrenheit. Days are blue skies and 65. The air is clear, and the mountains are all around. Morning walks are brisk. We have been staying at Eagle Crest just outside of Redmond every fall for about 15 years. It all started when Lin and I received an invitation for a time share presentation. We didn't buy one, but every referral to them generated "eagle dollars" we could spend in their restaurant. Lin's parents were the first, and they ended up buying a time share. Eventually that time share was passed on to a sibling, and we bought our own on Craig's List. Now the siblings can get together and enjoy the great climate. That reminds me of one of my pet peeves. I think time shares (purchased at the retail price) are a rip-off. The most a time share is worth is the annual maintenance fee. You can find them at great prices. Find your favorite place to go, and watch the internet for good buys. This economic climate provides an ideal opportunity.

FUN IN THE SUN (AGAIN)

Time for some fun in the sun. Here is grandchild Micah showing his camera face.

Lin drew the heart in the sand and with the sun at a very low angle it created some unusual lighting.

This photo looks like we are contemplating the meaning of life.

Don't you believe it.
We just tried to not smile.

CRANBERRIES AND DAD

After the service we stopped by a cranberry bog. The photo is me in a reflective moment.

A large part of Dad's life was cranberries. We moved from Kansas to Oregon in 1955. He first got involved in a co-op lumber mill. After a few years it went bankrupt, so he tried cranberries. That was more successful. Farming was in his blood. In Kansas he had raised wheat and had a dairy. Prior to that he drilled water wells. Growing cranberries was his focus until he retired in 1992 at age 80. Along the way he utilized his mechanical skills to keep things running smoothly. When I was about 14 we overhauled the little Ford tractor. You can learn a lot when you take an engine totally apart and see it spread before you in tiny pieces. Another time he admired the neighbor's bump gate, but didn't want to spend what it would cost to get one, so he built his own. It worked, but also terrorized the unsuspecting visitors who would bump it too hard, or too soft. It served its purpose well, which was to keep the deer out of the cranberry bogs. All the bogs had a six foot fence surrounding them. In the spring, one deer could knock a lot of berries off the vines and do considerable damage. I think if Dad had been born in my generation he would have been a mechanical engineer. Part of his longevity can be attributed to Mom's healthy cooking. Dad would tease her about it, "If it tastes good, spit it out." In reality, we all loved her cooking. He often spoke about retirement, but Mom talked him out of it, "Now what would you do?" They finally did retire, and moved to Coquille to be closer to their church.

HOPE

(photos by son in law Dan Holcomb)

Dad did pass on. He was only sick for about 3 days. We were all grateful that he did not have to suffer. We had a small graveside service in Coquille. Not too many attended; he had outlived most of his friends. The service was one of hope. That's what I like about Christian funerals. There is always so much hope and joy, and we know we will see him again. He had a long, full life. You can go back to my blog entries last year and read more details. I'll miss picking him up for coffee every afternoon.

FRAGILITY

I have been reminded again of the
fragility of life.

My father will be 97 in September.
A recent health crises has brought
the siblings together. At this time it is too early to know the outcome. What factors have contributed to his long life? I can think of a few possibilites: oatmeal for breakfast; a wife that cooked healthy meals; nonsmoker; nondrinker; working full time until age 80; serving God with right decisions. So many things.

Now he is surrounded with children and grandchildren that cherish him. They stroke his forehead while he slips in and out of sleep.

He has made a few comments... "What are we waiting for?" "Well, I guess I had better get up." We remind him that he is in the hospital, and who is in the room. He seems to be strangely at peace with all that is going on in his body.

Will I live as long? Will I be at peace when I am old? A lot of questions are unanswerable, but I do know that he has set a good example. I love you, Dad.

CHILDREN AND THINKING

I have been fascinated by the sameness of children the world over.
This is a picture of children in North Korea. They could just as well
be from Central or South America, Japan, or many other countries.
The word I think of most to describe children is "innocence." I wonder
if children who grow up in an oppressive culture ever reach an age
where they begin to question what they have been taught. I tend to think they do. It's part of our human spirit. Even in our culture of democracy, teenagers often question the political and religious system they grow up in, and end up redefining their role in society differently from their parents. I think the ability to question authority is good, because otherwise people could never break free from patterns of bondage in their thinking. Someday North Korea may join South Korea, just as East Germany joined West Germany. It makes me examine my own world view. Do I have patterns of thinking that others consider harmful? I'm glad truth is not relative. Of course, that's my perspective. It seems that I am forced to look at everything through my own lens. I feel good about my lens. It gives me the ability to understand the world. I am at peace with God, and I see the world through that lens. What does your lens tell you about the world?

SEPARATION

We spent a few days in the sun. I had to come back for work, while Lin remained behind. I'll join her again shortly. It's been about 30 years since we have been apart for any length of time. You don't realize how your lives become intertwined. Consequently, I've been thinking about the ramifications of separation. When my mom passed away, Dad told me it was hard to read the mail by himself. They had a routine, and his role was to look at each envelope, and hand it to her to open. He really missed that. I told Lin that I miss her telling me she is hungry, and me telling her what she wants to eat. Somehow, I know. It makes me realize that the pain of separation cannot happen without first experiencing the joy of togetherness. I feel grieved for those that cannot experience the pain of separation because they have no one with which to experience the joy of oneness. I think I have a better understanding now of what the Bible means when it says "the two shall become one." Have you experienced the joy of oneness, or the pain of separation? Was it temporary, or permanent?

GREED

Greed seems to be the word that is ushering us into the new millennium. I would just as soon not have it around. We can blame it for our national lifestyle, resulting in the real estate bubble and crash we are all now experiencing. What happens now? Does it go underground? Do we hide our greed and bring it out again when the economy turns upward? I suggest we ban it forever. Replace it with give. Of course that won't happen.

Human nature and greed seem to be forever linked. The best we seem to be able to do is pass multiple layers of laws to control its effects. I like the example of the farmer selling milk. For years, he sells milk to his neighbors, and all is well. Then his business begins to grow, and he begins shipping it to the nearby town. He doesn't personally know the city folk, so a little contamination doesn't have the weight that it normally would if you sold bad milk to your friend across the road. The added benefit is more profit to the bottom line.

Eventually, quality control becomes an issue, and the government gets involved. They pass laws about selling milk to control what the dairyman should have done in the first place. The laws are a response to greed. How many laws would cease to have meaning if greed went away? We could ask the same question about other vices, such as hatred, or jealousy.

We are forced to pass laws to make us do what we should have done in the first place. It makes me think we are all like selfish children. Fortunately, a change of heart is possible. I am reminded of a verse in the bible; "...in him we live and move and have our being." We no longer live for ourselves, but I find it is always good to evaluate my motives.

Am I the only one?

FUN IN THE SUN

We recently spent some time in the sun. It was like Oregon in the month of August. Oregon truly is a remarkable place in the summer. Phoenix is remarkable in the winter. Too bad they are so far apart.

There is a reason so many retire in that location. Imagine waking up to blue skies every morning. Add in moderate temperatures at night and shirtsleeve weather during the day. Our dog liked it too. I've never seen so many golf courses. Glendale has a city park littered with little hills for hiking. They call them mountains. We went to the top of one and back down in less than an hour.

What is your favorite weather?

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

Yesterday, Bethany, our youngest (age 22) in casual conversation asked, "Who is Art Linkletter? Nothing reminds me more of my age than a question like that. With two of our three already having homes of their own I am desperately playing catch up. I still see them all as somewhere between two and six years old. They would have been great on Art's show.

Lin reminded us this morning that when Bethany was first learning to read she liked to intercept the mail. One day she held up a letter, laughed, and said, "Look Mom. Here is a letter addressed to Daddy but they called him Mrs."

Our middle child Erin had a repuation for speaking her mind. At about age two she told her grandpa to close his mouth while chewing.

J.R. our oldest, in a conversation with his mother, was told about what plastic surgeons do. He thought for a long moment, and then asked, "What would happen if they used a real surgeon?"

Now, with our grandchild Micah quickly approaching age two, it starts all over. I am determined to chew with my mouth closed.

CHRISTMAS DINNER

It's nice having a decent camera on my phone. This is a photo of the table I sat at Friday night. The dinner was provided by FOCUS, an organization that helps PSU international students. Lin and I are volunteers. We fed about 200 students. I sat with a brother and sister from Saudia Arabia, a girl from Japan, and a guy from Sweden. They were all delightful. Someday we must go to Saudia Arabia. If we do, it will be in the winter. This time of year it is in the low 70s and high 60s. I don't think I would like their summer. I don't like extreme cold, either, so I will avoid Sweden in the winter. If you had six months to teach English, where would you go?

THE ULTIMATE PHONE

After 12 months of indecision, we finally dumped T-mobile. I was waiting for the gphone to make its debut before deciding. With it's android platform, the gphone is likely the phone of the future. However, I decided against it, because the first version doesn't have a standard audio-out jack, and I wanted to use Pandora in the car. I went with the iphone. I've only had it two weeks, but so far I have no complaints. It is definitely the cadillac of the cell phones. I also like the broader coverage range of AT&T. Tell me your thoughts about cell phones. Do you have one? What do you like about it?

THE DREAM

I was going down a flight of stairs. On one of the landings I met my dad coming up. He was younger. I was delighted. We hugged, and then I realized that my head only came up to his chest. I looked up, and his head was only a couple of inches from the ceiling. It must have been an old house for the ceiling to be that low. I said, "When I grow up, my head will touch the ceiling." I was sobbing the whole time. He just smiled. Then suddenly, I was grown up and I was looking down at him. He became very old, and collapsed into my arms. I held him as he died.

ZEITGEIST

Sometimes something comes along that says it all again. It brings up all the old issues to a new generation, packaged especially for them. Zeitgeist is such a format. I've recently been reading Isaac Asimov's Foundation series. It was published in the early fifties. Asimov was an athiest, and his books make statements about religion and other pet topics. If he were alive now, he would have authored parts of Zeitgeist. I suggest you watch it. I thought conspiracy theorists were all my age. I had no idea it has all been resurrected on a presentable platter for consumption by a new generation. Watch the movie, and tell me what the agenda is.

TIM CONWAY

Tim Conway did a dental skit with Harvey Korman on the Carol Burnett Show years ago. Everyone should see it. The next time you visit the dentist, you'll be glad he is competent.

MONK

It's time to promote my favorite program. Monk has finally come to network television. It has been on cable for several years. Up until now, the only way we have been able to watch it is to rent the videos of past shows. I'm not sure why I like it. Maybe I recognize something of myself in his personality. We all have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. Monk lives it, so we don't have to.

The writers of this show have had a lot of fun thinking up interesting scenarios for someone with OCD. So far my favorite scene is when he is strapped down in the dentist chair and the dentist is preparing to torture him. Monk isn't overly worried about the torture, but he is concerned that the dentist isn't wearing gloves. He begs, "In the name of all that is holy, please wash your hands."

There is a lesson in this for all of us. Sometimes we become overly concerned with the small things, while not giving proper attention to what is really important. I think we need to stay focused. This week in Portland we had a house slide down a hill. Those below saw it coming toward them, and the father started to retrieve his new Honda. He was stopped by his son, who properly recognized that his dad's life was more important than the car. I hope there will always be those around who will remind me of what is really important, and I trust I will do the same for them.

IT PAYS TO BE BLAND

Here is more information to support my suspicions about creativity. There are some advantages of being dull.

PRIORITIES

Economic times like this are being described as unprecedented. It makes me examine my priorities. How important is it for me to have a retirement nest egg? What if I lose my job? What if I can't pay my bills?

What is the worst case scenario? Will the entire banking system collapse? Some families are facing hard decisions right now. Others will face them in the coming months. In these past economic boom years we have had beggars at the main intersections just off the freeway, with cardboard signs and messages designed to inspire guilt. Will they lose their job too? Will the guilt donations slow, or will their numbers swell?

Will we hear accounts of suicides because fortunes have been lost? How prepared am I to face several years of economic slowdown? What is my responsibility to others?

There is an investment that does not lose value. That is when we invest in the lives of others. I find myself evaluating my investing. I try to be prudent and save for retirement, but what about those I love? Has my attempt to be financially responsible taken away from investing in people? I hope not. After all, if an economic collapse occurs, I'll need lots of people to hang out with. That doesn't cost any money.

FINANCIAL UNCERTAINTY

There is a lot of uncertainty in the financial markets at this time. Although I'm not a supporter of Ron Paul's isolationism, he does make sense when it comes to money. Read this and tell me what you think.

DESPAIR AND CREATIVITY

I've often wondered what there is about despair that drives creativity and expression. Some of our most creative authors were driven by inner demons. Jack London and Ernest Hemmingway are two that come to mind. Both of them chose suicide to escape the torment.

Despair is something that we all face from time to time, as circumstances dictate. The kind I'm referring to is when the chemicals in the brain malfunction, causing a deep, dark depression with no apparent cause. For some unknown reason, despair can trigger a depth of creativity that would not otherwise be apparent. Sometimes it manifests in writing, sometimes in the arts. It doesn't have to be debilating.

I believe sustained hopelessness can result in sustained creativity. I started thinking more about this after reading an article by Lynn Lauber in the September/October 2008 issue of AARP. She is a professional writer, and teaches creative writing. Her article, "The Mourning Spot" discusses the death of a parent. I was blown away by her writing ability, and also her lack of hope. I would call it a mild case of despair. I read the article three times, because it was like eating a favorite dessert. It's not that I enjoy reading about death. It's that practically every paragraph has a descriptive nugget. It was like finding a chocolate chip in your favorite brownie. If she ever teaches creative writing in Portland, I'll be there.

AARP

Since age is the topic of the hour, I thought I'd mention the AARP magazine. My secretary loaned us her copy. This is a magazine that if I see it in a waiting room, I discreetly look away. After all, it carries stigma, kind of like those newspapers they sell at the local checkout. Everyone knows that succumbing to reading AARP will hasten the appearance of the angel of death.

My suspicions about what they publish in that magazine have only been limited by my imagination. I could just see articles titled, "Ex Airline Pilot drowns in commode," or "Lunatic Nurse Goes on Hypodermic Rampage." Lin was bold and opened it first. She has always been more of a risk taker. I halfway expected to see wrinkles form quickly around her eyes, and her body begin to sag. I was surprised. Her body remained intact, and as she shared some of the content, I realized I have been guilty of stereotyping. It actually had good articles. In fact, there was some of the best writing I have seen in a long time. (I'll blog about one of the authors in a few days.)

They should change the name of the magazine. I suggest "Intelligent Reader," or "Magazine for Brains Not Full of Mush." Lin suggested "Journey's End." I told her that would drive people away. "AARP" seems to be such a bland title. I hope they change the name.

AGING

This month I had a birthday. We had some friends and family over, with lots of food and homemade ice cream. I had a great time. That's good, since it was my birthday.

My father celebrates his 96th next month. I tell him only four more years until he gets a letter from the president. I am assuming, of course that the president will still be doing that. The tradition that began years ago with just a few letters per month is quickly becoming unwieldy. By the time my generation become centurions, the postage will be a budget line item.

Having a birthday has caused me to think a lot about aging. This was the big six-0 for me. I used to think I was old when I turned 40. Now, I don't think I'll be old until I hit 75. Statistically, I hope to have another ten years of relatively good health before I have to physically slow down. Realistically, my health could fail without notice. It feels like a tightrope, with life on one side and death on the other. I don't sense the precariousness, however, because I made peace with God long ago. I'm more interested in the quality of life.

Several years ago my friend Carol recommended a book titled Success to Significance, by Bob Buford. The basic premise of the book is that as we age, our focus should slowly change from providing for our family, to one of ministry to others. It takes on a natural progression, gradually beginning in our early fifties, and continuing into retirement. I like the idea. It appeals to me more than playing shuffleboard for the next twenty years. One must also be realistic, however. I know one couple who is heavily involved in several ministry activities, all in the evening. They save their daytime hours for doctor visits. That doesn't appeal to me. I would rather be hiking during the day.

The increasingly inward focus as one ages is also scary. I know older adults are many times fixated on blood pressure, bowels, and medication. I understand how that happens, and I will fight it tooth and nail. I also know that a person's failing physical health can absorb all their energy. If you come and visit, and I start talking about my ailments, please hit me alongside the head. My dad has never focused on his health. Of course, he doesn't remember anything from one day to the next, so perhaps his failing memory is a blessing. When we go out for coffee in the afternoon, he doesn't remember what he had for lunch. He loves the visits from his sister in Texas, but about three days after she leaves, his memory of the good times dim to almost nothing.

They say we are only as old as we feel. When I'm not exerting myself, I feel 25. The key is to live life without unnecessary exertion. That way, you can live every day thinking you are younger than you really are. You only come up against hard reality when you go help your son and daughter-in-law work in their yard. It's been two weeks, and my back is just now feeling normal again. Next time I'll spend more hours holding the grandchild. There's no downside to that.

THE DRIFTING MOUSE

We have an older Dell laptop that has been giving us fits for the past year. The mouse would spontaneously begin drifting, and if it came in contact with any icons, it would activate them. In addition, adjusting the screen would cause random "static." The only way to bring the screen back was to slap it soundly on the side. I was ready to give it away. Last week Lin tried a Google search. You can find anything on Google. She found a link that described the mouse problem exactly. They claimed it was a hardware issue. All we had to do was insert a piece of clear plastic or cellophane under the touchpad, between the touchpad and a flat strip of metal. It took some courage to start taking the laptop apart, but we had nothing to lose. I found that the clear part of a business envelope that lets the address show through was perfect. At first it was too flimsy, but slipped right in when reinforced with clear scotch tape. It has been over a week, and the mouse hasn't drifted once. The screen malfunction is also gone. I couldn't ask for a nicer birthday present. Thank you, Lin.

THE WEATHER

Finally, the weather has changed. This year in western Oregon we did not have a spring. It went from wet and cool to dry and hot. I prefer dry and hot. In fact, the hotter the better. I know there must be an upper limit, but I haven't found it. Of course, my experience is limited to Oregon, so what do I know? Once, several years ago, I remember it was 106 in August. That was unusual for Portland. We drove to Phoenix that week, and when we arrived it was only in the 80's, but quite humid. That was my first experience with humidity, and right then I knew I didn't like humidity. I prefer dry heat. Most of the time in Portland we consider it hot if the temperature gets above 90. That doesn't happen too often. Our weather here in the summer is almost perfect. We have people who come on vacation from other parts of the country, and after just one visit, they decide that we live in heaven. They go back home, pack up, and move to Oregon. Then, when winter arrives, they realize that they were tricked into moving to hell. We actually have people suffer from lack of sunshine, and we call it SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It doesn't happen in central or eastern Oregon, just here where it rains and rains and rains. How hot does it get where you live?

THE FOUR PILLARS OF INVESTING

Anyone interested in managing their own investments should read this book by William Bernstein. Pillar One is The Theory of Investing. Pillar Two is The History of Investing. Pillar Three is The Psychology of Investing, and Pillar Four is The Business of Investing. He concludes the book by discussing investment strategy using the four pillars.

(Go here to read a recent magazine interview where he discusses investment strategy.)

The chapter on a history of manias goes back in history and highlights some incredible times in the past when whole societies were caught up in investment madness. The end result was always a crash. Our recent housing bubble has a lot of similarities to past manias. We definitely can learn lessons today by studying examples from the past.

Bernstein does not have kind words for financial brokers. The reason is that anyone with the time to educate themselves doesn't need to pay commissions to an adviser. In fact, that is the only reason to ever have a broker. Everyone else can do it on their own. The only reason I have a job as a financial representative is because there are a lot of people who, for one reason or another, are not educated and are not interested in doing their own investing.

Read the book, and use it to jump start your education.

APPEASEMENT

One of the best articles I have ever read on the dangers of appeasement appeared in the June 7th 2008 issue of the Wall Street Journal. It is by Michael Ledeen, a resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute. I have pasted it below in its entirety. Let me know if you agree or disagree.



Resident Scholar Michael A. Ledeen

Ever since World War II, we have been driven by a passionate desire to understand how mass genocide, terror states and global war came about--and how we can prevent them in the future.
Above all, we have sought answers to several basic questions: Why did the West fail to see the coming of the catastrophe? Why were there so few efforts to thwart the fascist tide, and why did virtually all Western leaders, and so many Western intellectuals, treat the fascists as if they were normal political leaders, instead of the virulent revolutionaries they really were? Why did the main designated victims--the Jews--similarly fail to recognize the magnitude of their impending doom? Why was resistance so rare?
Why are we failing to see the mounting power of evil enemies? Why do we treat them as if they were normal political phenomena, as Western leaders do when they embrace negotiations as the best course of action?
Most eventually accepted a twofold "explanation": the uniqueness of the evil, and the lack of historical precedent for it. Italy and Germany were two of the most civilized and cultured nations in the world. It was difficult to appreciate that a great evil had become paramount in the countries that had produced Kant, Beethoven, Dante, and Rossini.
How could Western leaders, let alone the victims, be blamed for failing to see something that was almost totally new--systematic mass murder on a vast scale, and a threat to civilization itself? Never before had there been such an organized campaign to destroy an entire "race," and it was therefore almost impossible to see it coming, or even to recognize it as it got under way.
The failure to understand what was happening took a well-known form: a systematic refusal to view our enemies plain. Hitler's rants, whether in "Mein Kampf" or at Nazi Party rallies, were often downplayed as "politics," a way of maintaining popular support. They were rarely taken seriously as solemn promises he fully intended to fulfill. Mussolini's call for the creation of a new Italian Empire, and his later alliance with Hitler, were often downplayed as mere bluster, or even excused on the grounds that, since other European countries had overseas territories, why not Italy?
Some scholars broadened the analysis to include other evil regimes, such as Stalin's Russia, which also systematically murdered millions of people and whose ambitions similarly threatened the West. Just as with fascism, most contemporaries found it nearly impossible to believe that the Gulag Archipelago was what it was. And just as with fascism, we studied it so that the next time we would see evil early enough to prevent it from threatening us again.
By now, there is very little we do not know about such regimes, and such movements. Some of our greatest scholars have described them, analyzed the reasons for their success, and chronicled the wars we fought to defeat them. Our understanding is considerable, as is the honesty and intensity of our desire that such things must be prevented.
Yet they are with us again, and we are acting as we did in the last century. The world is simmering in the familiar rhetoric and actions of movements and regimes--from Hezbollah and al Qaeda to the Iranian Khomeinists and the Saudi Wahhabis--who swear to destroy us and others like us. Like their 20th-century predecessors, they openly proclaim their intentions, and carry them out whenever and wherever they can. Like our own 20th-century predecessors, we rarely take them seriously or act accordingly. More often than not, we downplay the consequences of their words, as if they were some Islamic or Arab version of "politics," intended for internal consumption, and designed to accomplish domestic objectives.
Clearly, the explanations we gave for our failure to act in the last century were wrong. The rise of messianic mass movements is not new, and there is very little we do not know about them. Nor is there any excuse for us to be surprised at the success of evil leaders, even in countries with long histories and great cultural and political accomplishments. We know all about that. So we need to ask the old questions again. Why are we failing to see the mounting power of evil enemies? Why do we treat them as if they were normal political phenomena, as Western leaders do when they embrace negotiations as the best course of action?
No doubt there are many reasons. One is the deep-seated belief that all people are basically the same, and all are basically good. Most human history, above all the history of the last century, points in the opposite direction. But it is unpleasant to accept the fact that many people are evil, and entire cultures, even the finest, can fall prey to evil leaders and march in lockstep to their commands. Much of contemporary Western culture is deeply committed to a belief in the goodness of all mankind; we are reluctant to abandon that reassuring article of faith. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, we prefer to pursue the path of reasonableness, even with enemies whose thoroughly unreasonable fanaticism is manifest.
This is not merely a philosophical issue, for to accept the threat to us means--short of a policy of national suicide--acting against it. As it did in the 20th century, it means war. It means that, temporarily at least, we have to make sacrifices on many fronts: in the comforts of our lives, indeed in lives lost, in the domestic focus of our passions--careers derailed and personal freedoms subjected to unpleasant and even dangerous restrictions--and the diversion of wealth from self-satisfaction to the instruments of power. All of this is painful; even the contemplation of it hurts.
Then there is anti-Semitism. Old Jew-hating texts like "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion," now in Farsi and Arabic, are proliferating throughout the Middle East. Calls for the destruction of the Jews appear regularly on Iranian, Egyptian, Saudi and Syrian television and are heard in European and American mosques. There is little if any condemnation from the West, and virtually no action against it, suggesting, at a minimum, a familiar Western indifference to the fate of the Jews.
Finally, there is the nature of our political system. None of the democracies adequately prepared for war before it was unleashed on them in the 1940s. None was prepared for the terror assault of the 21st century. The nature of Western politics makes it very difficult for national leaders--even those rare men and women who see what is happening and want to act--to take timely, prudent measures before war is upon them. Leaders like Winston Churchill are relegated to the opposition until the battle is unavoidable. Franklin Delano Roosevelt had to fight desperately to win Congressional approval for a national military draft a few months before Pearl Harbor.
Then, as now, the initiative lies with the enemies of the West. Even today, when we are engaged on the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan, there is little apparent recognition that we are under attack by a familiar sort of enemy, and great reluctance to act accordingly. This time, ignorance cannot be claimed as an excuse. If we are defeated, it will be because of failure of will, not lack of understanding. As, indeed, was almost the case with our near-defeat in the 1940s.

Michael A. Ledeen is a resident scholar at AEI.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED

Have you ever had someone apologize to you and somehow it sounded hollow? You find yourself thinking, "What are they really saying?" My favorite non-apologies are the ones that use the word "if." For example, "I'm sorry if I offended you." What is the real meaning? Why don't they just come out and and say, "I realize you have a problem with my rudeness, and I'm sorry you can't get over it." This is very common between spouses, especially early in the marriage. Since I'm a guy, I'm very familiar with what guys say, so I'll use the male example. I bring home a new toy (here you fill in your favorite toy that you slobber on everytime you go to the mall or car dealer). I bring it home, and my wife goes through the roof. What is my apology? "I'm sorry if I offended you. I should have discussed it with you first." In other words, "Get over it woman, I've already spent the money on my selfish desires and I'm always going to feed this little boy what he wants. I really don't care about your needs or the future financial needs of our family." It's no wonder that my apology doesn't go very far. She knows what I am really saying. What would be a sincere apology? How about, "I now realize what a selfish, inconsiderate jerk I have been, and how far I have to go to really grow up. I'm going to work at putting the needs of my family first, and to demonstrate my sincerity, I will return this toy." That is hard to say, because little boys don't say that, and if they did, it would not be sincere. It's no wonder we see conflicts in marriage. I think little boys tend to grow up only when they have conflict. If they survive the early years of the marriage, and learn to put the needs of others first, they ususally turn into somewhat acceptable examples of manhood. We read about guys like this all the time in the advice columns of the newspaper. They are stories about someone whose actions have demonstrated that they need to be taken out and whipped. I can just hear in my mind as I read those stories, a rising chorus of women's voices volunteering to do the whipping in the name of all that is fair and just.

LISTENING

Who do you enjoy being with? What makes them fun to be around? You probably share a common passion, and enjoy their sense of humor. It is also very likely that they listen to what you say. I think being a good listener is key to having meaningful relationships.

What about people you don't enjoy? Why do you avoid them when you see them coming? What character traits do they have that raise your blood pressure? Do they listen to what you say? I think not.

Proverbs 18:24 in the Bible says that if you want to have friends, show yourself friendly. I think we can rephrase that to say if you want to have friends, be a good listener. No one likes a person who is self focused and all they do is talk about their own interests and pains. It becomes a vicious cycle, causing others to avoid them even more.

Are you a good listener? I like to imagine that there is a secret recording of all my conversations, and I get points when I can direct the conversation away from myself. What about blogging? Isn't blogging the essence of being self focused? Maybe that is why it is so popular.

What are the keys to being a good listener?

BLOGGING AS THERAPY?

How do you process emotional trauma? Blogging is a recent phenomena that seems to meet that need. I have noticed that different blogs have different themes. Some, like mine, discuss issues. Most are windows into the daily activities of the blogger. Some focus on babies, or pets, or politics. CNN had an interesting article about the therapy of blogging. Writing about a traumatic experience seems to help the blogger find at least some closure. Who blogs the most, introverts or extroverts? Would it make a difference if you knew you had no readers? Would a large audience encourage you to blog more frequently? If you don't have a blog, why not? Is it lack of time? Perhaps you are intimidated by having others read your grammer mistakes. Maybe you just don't like to write. According to the above article, there are about 12 million bloggers in the United States. That means about 230 million don't blog. Which group are you in, and why?

DEATH AND TAXES

Isn't it unusual that two of the most common things in life are the most hated? We do a lot of complaining about taxes. I'm self employed, so I save every month in preparation for the quarterly tax payment. Some people choose to not pay, but I believe in paying taxes, so I do it willingly. I don't agree with the concept of estate taxes, so I've decided that when I die I am not going to pay those.

I also believe in being prepared to die. Just because we don't like to think about it, doesn't mean we shouldn't make plans. The most obvious way to prepare for our own death is to provide for those that are dependent on our income by purchasing some type of life insurance.

Even less talked about is being ready to die. How does one ever get ready to die? I just purchased my 2009 desk calender and nowhere, in filling out important dates, did I write in the date of my own death. I wish it were that easy. Instead, I have to realize that every day I wake up may be the last one I live. I'm not sure how successful I've been at making every day my last, because I haven't been tested yet. I'm still here. However, I am "ready to go," as they say, having made peace with God in every way. I have no regrets, no known enemies, and no unspoken conversations I wish to make with anyone I leave behind. That doesn't mean I want to die. It does, however, free me to live life to the fullest. Each day is a new adventure, a gift from God. I think more about this than I used to, because almost daily I hear about someone younger than myself who has died.

Unfortunately, for most of us death won't come suddenly. Instead, it will begin with an illness that gets progressively worse, resulting in a death that is expected by all. For a short time five years ago I thought I might have to go through that process, having been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Thankfully, it was caught early and up until now there is no reoccurence.

It's too bad we can't choose how we exit life. I remember my friend who proclaimed that he wanted to die peacefully in his sleep like his grandfather, not screaming in horror like the passengers in his car. How do you want to die? More importantly, are you ready?

CROWD BEHAVIOR

The psychology of crowd behavior has always interested me, ever since I studied it in a college Sociology class. It has caused me to analyze my actions in a group as if I were being observed by a neutral party, like a scientist watching a rat in a maze. The dynamics of a crowd can be scary. It's not unlike what happens when you find out your precious dog that sleeps on your bed at night is part of a daytime pack that takes down sheep.

There are three viewpoints when you are part of a crowd. The first is as a participant. I try to determine if my actions in the crowd are a true reflection of my values, or if I am being manipulated. Another viewpoint is to look at the person leading the crowd. What is their intent? If the crowd follows their lead, what will the result be? The third perspective is if I am the leader. Am I using my abilities to influence people in an ethical manner? Do these people really know what the end result of this action is going to be?

Frankly, I don't think we can depend on the leader to be ethical. We, as individuals in a crowd have a responsibility to be manipulated ethically. I know, it sounds strange, but it happens all the time. At a football game, everyone stands up when there is a touchdown. What if you don't stand? Are you worried about peer pressure? In a group of friends, everyone is expected to laugh at a joke. Do you laugh when it's not funny? Arn't you allowing yourself to be manipulated in little ways, all the time? Political rallies are notorious for manipulating crowds. They have made it a science. When you are in a crowd, are you aware of your behavior? When is it permissible to be manipulated? When is it ok to manipulate? Comedians do it all the time. Do you have the gift?

TAX REBATE

Your tax rebate is arriving in May! Some states are planning to allow tax free purchases around the Memorial Day weekend. They are attempting to stimulate consumer spending. I predict they will be highly successful. Retail businesses will be thrilled. It will boost the economy.

However, the best kept secret about your rebate may be that you would be better off if you use it to pay down debt or invest in your retirement. Do you really need that flat screen tv? $1000 invested at 8% over 27 years with no additional deposits will accumulate to $8,000. If the return is 12%, it would be worth $16,000 in just 24 years. Many mutual fund investments have averaged 10% over the last 10 years, and some over 12%.

So, what is best for your future; a tv to watch the superbowl, or cash in your future to jump up and down on? I suggest you invest the money and go to your friend's house to watch the game, knowing that your money is accumulating for you and your children. A wise choice limits your spending to a bag of chips or a snack plate, and a good time will be had by all!

INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES

There are always opportunities to make money. Sometimes those opportunities are obvious, and sometimes they are staring you in the face and you can't see them. In the late 70s I knew two real estate investors. The first one, who I will call R, was young, and eager to learn. He was just out of high school. His uncle had the expertise, along with some money. Together, they began purchasing low cost rental houses. The uncle provided the advice and capital, and R did the work. They would watch for a good price, with a motivated seller. Many times they would purchase the property on contract directly from the owner. This allowed for a minimal down payment. The rent from the property would make the payments. If the rent could not make the contract payment, then they would not buy the house. To make it more acceptable to the seller, they would offer a 5 or 10 year balloon. That means that after a length of time, they would pay off the loan. That was accomplished by either financing the property with a lender, or by selling the property. R and his uncle were very successful. As the years progressed, they moved into apartments, and then into commercial property. Along the way, R became very good at painting, replacing bathroom floors, windows, and everything else that goes with fixing up old houses.

I also had another friend during that time. I'll call him B. He followed the same plan. He would buy older houses and fix them up for rentals. However, he did something else. Once he bought a distressed property, he would fix it up, and then refinance it with the bank. He was able to refinance it for more than the purchase price, so he would use that money to buy more houses. He started his enterprise about five years after R. After about five years, he declared bankruptcy. He made two mistakes. He started buying near the top of the market, and he was greedy. Today, housing prices nationwide are projected to continue their decline for one or two years more. It's been over 30 years since there has been this type of market. It's not for the faint of heart. You have to be willing to spend most weekends doing repairs on your houses, and many weeknights answering emergency calls from tenants. Older homes don't come without problems. I'm not going to do it, because I don't like to work on houses in my spare time. I like mutual funds. However, the opportunity is there for the right investor.

Remember, the reason you make money doing this, is because you are using other people's money. You have little or no down payment, the rent equals your monthly payments, and you are riding the equity market up. Back in the 80s seminar speakers were getting rich charging big bucks to tell you how to do it. You don't need to pay big bucks. Just do the research yourself. Be prepared to work evenings and weekends. It isn't handed to you on a silver platter, but the potential is there for those who take the plunge. Go here to read details about the housing market.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Pakistan recently blocked Youtube because of its unfavorable treatment of Islam. They are insisting that Youtube remove the offensive videos. Go here to read the CNN report. We know that many nations limit the free speech of the citizens within their borders. Do they also have a right to extend those restrictions to citizens of other nations?

What about in conversation with others? Do we have a responsibility to temper our free speech if we know it will be offensive? For example, if I enter a room of smokers, should I refrain from expounding on the dangers of smoking? I could go on quite a tirade, but would it be advisable? Wouldn't it be better to vent my opinion in a public forum that is not as confrontational?

Perhaps there is a time to remain quiet, and a time to speak out. I believe Youtube is the perfect medium for speaking out. It allows for the sharing of ideas that may not be accepted by all. If we are talking face to face, there are acceptable standards of respect and tolerance. However, if the public forum is silenced, we all suffer.

I see it as a clash of cultures. I was raised with visions of Patrick Henry shouting, "Give me liberty, or give me death." An Islamic culture is totally different, and I would like to see your comments about how their values are in conflict with ours.

ENTITLEMENTS

I think I've figured out why I don't like the fast food advertisement, "You deserve a break today." It is telling me that they have decided I need a break, and not only that, but I deserve it. For some reason I resent their feeble attempt at mind control. I feel the same way about the multitude of new car advertisements. I don't even want a car, but they assume I would sell my soul to get one. Well, not my soul, but maybe submit to car payments for the next five years. The appeal is to what I think I deserve, or what I think I am entitled to. It's an attempt, as we all know, to sow seeds of discontent.

What am I really entitled to? We all have basic needs, such as shelter, food, and clothing. Am I entitled to the basics? If so, what entitles me to them? Do I have some sort of noble blood running through my veins that makes me more deserving than someone else? Do I deserve it because I have a job and can buy it if I choose? Am I entitled to something if I can't afford it? That's an argument politicians use all the time to push their favorite social programs.

How about if we reverse the question? Instead of asking what I deserve, what if we asked what others deserve? What if all advertising was focused on challenging the audience to think what they could do for others? Would it still be advertising? Would I buy my friend a car, knowing that my neighbor would be buying one for me? I doubt that approach would work at all.

What about little entitlements? Am I entitled to a hot meal when I come home? Am I entitled to be treated with respect and honesty? Do I deserve a cup of good coffee in the morning? The list is endless. Have you ever heard someone ask, "What have I done to deserve this?" The question implies that good behavior entitles us to rewards. God is watching and will zap you if you do wrong, and reward you with good things if you live right.

Do you have an unwritten list of entitlements? What do you deserve? I'm wondering if I am entitled to anything at all. Wouldn't I be better off if I didn't have any expectations, and then was grateful when something does go right?

FOLLOWING THE LIGHT

Our dog Pekah Boo has an obsession. She loves the laser light. We keep it above the phone in a woven basket with other miscellaneous items. At least once a day she will go over and sit under the basket and repeatedly look up at the basket, and then over at me. She says, "You know." If you read my blog from last summer, you are aware that I really don't know what she is saying. Lin has to tell me her thoughts. I am well trained, so I obediently get the laser and we get started. If it is really wet outside, we stay in the house. There is a well traveled route from our living room, up the stairs, and back again. I keep watching for signs of wear in our 16 year-old carpet, but so far haven't seen any. If it is not too wet, we head out the patio door and she really gets up some speed, racing back and forth the full length of the back yard. After a few minutes, she begins to slow down. She never really stops, and I've never had the nerve to see how long she would chase it. Besides, I don't want to think about doing CPR on a boston terrier. I wouldn't mind the heart massage, but the mouth-to-mouth is a little much to get my brain around. If she does collapse, my plan is to immediately begin the massage, while frantically calling Lin to come over and begin the mouth-to-mouth, or in this case, mouth-to-nose. I used to be a certified CPR instructor, so Lin would not likely ask me to trade places, especially if I spoke with a voice that commanded authority. A few times I have made the mistake of taking Pekah outside when the ground is saturated. Have you ever seen mud caked up inside a dog's paws? She is an indoor dog, of course, so we have to clean her up before we can let her back in the house. It ruins a bath towel when you wipe between her toes, and her running is not very kind to the grass, either. We have huge ruts from her path, and when spring arrives I have to figure out how to smooth them out. I guess I could go out anytime and use my feet to reshape the grass. The ground is like putty. It squishes when you walk on it. I have a recurrent nightmare in which a 120,000 man army walks three abreast through our yard, and I go outside eight hours later to find a three foot deep trench, similiar to the buffalo migration trails that used to go through Kansas. When I wake up, I try to imagine the circumstances necessary for that to have happened. My mind has come up with some scary scenarios. You don't want to know.

RAMANUJAN

The Man Who Knew Infinity, by Robert Kanigel

Srinivasa Ramanujan Iyengar was born in 1887, in Southern India. Srinivasa was his father's name, and Iyengar referred to the particular branch of South Indian Brahmins to which his family belonged, and so he was simply known as Ramanujan.

Sometimes you read about someone so incredibly gifted that you wonder where the world would be if they had never been born. Mozart blessed us with music. Einstein transformed the world of physics. Ramanujan's gift was mathematics.

On January 16, 1913 he wrote a letter to G.H. Hardy at Trinity College, Cambridge. It began:

"Dear Sir,

I beg to introduce myself to you as a clerk in the Accounts Department of the Port Trust Office at Madras on a salary of only 20 pounds per annum. I am now about 23 years of age. I have had no University education but I have undergone the ordinary school course. After leaving school I have been employing the spare time at my disposal to work at Mathematics."

His letter went on to describe his desire to study at Trinity College, and was followed by nine pages of mathematical theorms.

Hardy showed the letter to his friend Littlewood, also a mathematician at Trinity. At first they thought the equations might be the work of a prankster, but after several hours of pouring over his writings, they realized they were examining the works of a mathematical genius.

Ramanujan ended up in Cambridge with Hardy, and Robert Kanigal describes in detail the adjustments and disappointments he faced, coming from a very poor part of India and trying to fit into modern academia.

Sadly, he died April 26, 1920 of tuberculosis.

Reading this book will acquaint you with Ramanujan the man, and Ramanujan the genius. The book has a lot of math in it, but the story line continues around the math, so if you are like me, you can gaze at the equations in awe for a moment, and then get back to the story of the man.

However, if you like math, you will appreciate both the story and the mathematics.

RELATIONSHIPS

My friend Gary commented to me some time ago that the importance of relationships is becoming more apparent to him as he grows older. As time goes by, I am increasingly seeing the truth in his remark. In fact, it occurred to me that every movie produced; every book published; every story told, is a story of relationships. Even stories of men exiled alone on an island are actually about their attempt to reconcile back into civilization. In addition, every good story includes themes of betrayal, reconciliation, and redemption. Tell me your favorite movie, and you can be sure it contains intense relationship issues. In fact, I challenge you to think of an idea for a story that does not involve relationships. Critics analyze movies and books based on how characters and relationships are developed.

I have several questions: Who is your most important relationship with? Is it meaningful? What percentage are you giving/getting? Is it a relationship worth maintaining? Are there open lines of communication? What commitment have you made to it? Do your actions reflect your commitment? Are there positive or negative expectations of behavior imposed on you by being in this relationship? Did you make a mistake? Is it time to set some limits?

My most treasured relationship is with Lin. We have invested 33 years in it, and are reaping the benefits. I also deeply value my spiritual relationship with God. His grace is free and he has forgiven my sins. We have a rewarding relationship with our adult children & their spouses. It would be great if we could all live in one house and have a continual party! (They might not agree.) Life isn't like that, unfortunately. It only happens on holidays when they all happen to be here at the same time.

We have a good rapport at our job. It is fun to be with those I work with. It would be terrible to get up in the morning and have to go to a job and face someone I didn't really get along with. We have a blast with our LeTip friends. (Most of them are the same age as our kids, so we can freely give unsolicited advice and ask somewhat probing questions.) At church we have some of the most long lasting and closest friends. The adult ESL class we teach is a delight. The Latino students are generous and kind.

There is one thing that bothers me, however. If I am in a public place and see sadness in someones eyes, I want to break down the stranger barrier and touch their hurt. It's hard to get past that wall. I find myself wondering what circumstances they are facing and what past choices they made to arrive in their current situation. Most likely the seeds of our relationships today were planted years ago. What seeds are you planting today for your relationships tomorrow?

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

The morning began as a routine vacation day. The year was 1954. We were preparing to drive to Grandma's house. We lived on a dairy farm in Western Kansas, along highway 50. Syracuse was 7 miles to the East, and Lamar, Colorado was about 18 miles to the West. An old shack beside the highway was all that remained of what had once been the location of a gas station. A sign was still standing, declaring the name Midway. Our house and barn sat about 1,500 feet off the road.

Dad was fueling the car. Being somewhat mechanical, he had converted our car and tractor to propane, and between the house and barn we had a large capacity propane tank.

I was five years old, doing whatever five year-olds do. Mom was preparing breakfast and watching the baby (Nancy). Suddenly, Dad burst through the door. "We have to get out." he shouted. (My dad never shouted.) "I've backed into the propane valve and broke it off. Shut off the stove, I'll get the baby." Our home was heated by a free standing gas stove. After what seemed to her like an eternity, Mom finally was able to shut off the stove and the pilot flame.

We fled down the driveway toward the highway. It was about 30 degrees, with absolutely no breeze. My pajamas did not keep out the cold. We watched as a cloud of propane gas gradually filled the farmyard and blocked our view of the house and barn. It was eerily quiet. Dad made a lame joke about not striking a match. Mom was praying, and Dad was agreeing. It took about 30 minutes for the cloud to dissipate. As we walked back, we were thankful to God that we had not been blown to bits. The real surprise, however came as we approached the house. The car was still sitting where Dad had backed into the valve. It was idleing. He had forgotten to turn it off.

INVESTMENT CHOICES

The November 9th issue of USA Today had an interesting article about investments. Our choice of investments can have a profound effect on whether or not there will be any money remaining in later retirement years.

First, you have to determine your level of risk. If you will only sleep well at night with your money in bank CDs, then you must be content with a 6% or 7% rate of return in today's market. With bank CDs, your deposits are guaranteed by the FDIC.

The next level of risk is mutual funds. Your deposit is not guaranteed, and you could potentially watch your assets go down. Within each mutual fund family is everything from very low risk to high risk. If someone is very conservative or elderly, I recommend a fund that buys U.S. government securities. They usually return about 5%, although at times in the past the return has been higher.

After that would be a fund that blends bonds and stocks, called a balanced fund. They usually have about 30% bonds, 60% stocks, and 10% cash. When stocks go down, bonds tend to go up, and the reverse is true as well. This provides at least some protection in a volatile market such as we have today. In fact, if you have limited investment funds, I consider the balanced fund to be the ideal investment. Historically, a balanced fund will return 8 to 10%

If you like to take risks and are young, then you can take your chances and invest in a mutual fund that invests in anything from overseas emerging markets to gold. The risks are high, and the potential for gain (and loss) is greater. It's not unusual to have a 50% gain or loss in one year.

The place to begin saving for retirement is in a Roth IRA. You can start one for as little as $50 monthly, and choose the mutual fund you want to use. There is a cap, however, on how much you can put into a Roth IRA. For tax year 2008, the maximum is $5,000 if you are under age 50, and $6,000 if you are over 50. Each spouse must have their own IRA. The money that accumulates will never be subject to income tax. It's the best thing since sliced bread!

I don't recommend buying individual stocks unless you are committed to following the advice of Warren Buffett--buy and hold forever. Otherwise, the risk of loss is too great.

I especially don't recommend getting into options, or paying money to go to a seminar to learn how to day trade. They are appealing to your greed, and they are the ones making money on you.

Once you have reached retirement, you can calculate how much you can safely withdraw by following the 4% rule. That is, never take out more than 4% of your total assets in any given year. That will safeguard your investments over your lifetime, and you will most likely be able to pass on money to your children.

Don't delay planning your future.

THE RIVER OF DOUBT

Several months ago I highlighted Endurance. It was an epic battle of man against nature. At the time, Brad suggested I read The River of Doubt, by Candice Millard. It is a riveting story centering around Theodore Roosevelt's journey down an unexplored river through the Amazon jungles of Brazil in 1914. The expedition was led by Candido Mariano da Salva Rondon, one of Brazil's greatest heroes.

You would think that battling the jungle would be stressful enough, but they also had to contend with a murderer in their midst. Roosevelt's description of the piranaha makes me shiver. He writes, "The head with it's short muzzle, staring malignant eyes, and gaping, cruelly armed jaws, is the embodiment of evil ferocity; and the actions of the fish exactly match its looks."

There is another description of a tiny, almost transparent catfish known as the candiru. They are only about an inch long, and survive solely on blood. They feed in the gill chambers of larger fish, and drop off after having eaten their fill. However, they can be lethal to humans in the wrong circumstances. Candice Millard describes the following:

"In this case, however, the victim reported that, just before the attack, he had been standing in a river urinating, but the water had reached only to his upper thighs, and his penis had not even touched the river, much less been submerged in it. The candiru, he claimed, had abruptly leapt out of the water, shimmied up his urine stream, and disappeared into his urethra. He had made a desperate lunge for the fish, but it was too fast and too slippery. The incident occurred in a small town more than a hundred miles from Manaos, and the local doctors had been at a loss to help the man. By the time he was finally moved to Manaos for treatment, he had been unable to urinate for more than a week, and his stomach has become so distended that he looked six months pregnant. The doctor who eventually operated on him was able to successfully remove the candiru--without resorting to amputation."

Roosevelt survived the journey, but just barely. Through the latter part of the journey bacterial infections and malaria made an almost lethal combination. He never completely regained his health, and died just four years later at the age of 60.

This book is primarily a tribute to Roosevelt. He was a man of courage and iron discipline. As a child he was plagued by asthma, but used harsh physical exercise to conquor his weaknesses. He followed this formula for the rest of his life, and after major setbacks or disappointments, would often retreat into great adventures and will himself to prevail.

Like Endurance, this is a study of leadership. Rondon lead this journey, and Roosevelt would defer to his decisions, but sometimes there would be heated exchanges. The two men had great respect for one another, and after returning to the states, Roosevelt called Rondon one of the four most accomplished explorers of his day.

I have purposely not commented on the good parts. Otherwise, why would you want to read it?